A Mask Can Help Others And Hide A Jerk As Well

Herb’s Blog, Herbdate 22224 – 768:

Here’s the haps:

I have heard all of the hype about wearing/not wearing masks until I am just really tired of it. If you ask me, which you kind of are doing by coming here, I think they can be helpful. The caveats including that you also stay as far away from everyone else as practical, hopefully at least six feet, and that you wear it properly. If you wear it hanging below your nose or funnier yet, hanging under your chin, it isn’t doing any good. You just look clueless at best.

We have to count everyone that comes into the store to make sure we are in compliance with occupancy rules and if you don’t have a mask on I have a box of masks which I will proffer to you. The most common response I receive to this offer is something about having left theirs in the car or forgetting, which happens to everybody now and then. Frequently people will ask for one for a variety of other reasons as well. That doesn’t bother me. Sometimes a person will even grumble to me about the government or let me in on some arcane conspiratorial knowledge. But the average person will just accept it. The city has made an ordinance requiring them in public places. That means it’s a law boys and girls. Not only that, but you are a member of this club you are trying to enter. Clubs have rules. The rule here is that you are required to wear a face-covering while in the store shopping. So, please don’t make your complaint to me. Go fight City Hall if you want to and shut up. Er, be quiet, please. And really, I have worked in retail long enough that the average grumbler doesn’t even faze me.

The ones that start to get under my skin and sometimes make my skin crawl are the ones that claim a “medical exemption.” Such things may exist (although most medical people agree that there are very few such conditions if any), but if your pulmonary system is that compromised, you probably should not be going out in public at all. You should shop online from the convenience of your couch or computer chair and have the things delivered or do the contactless pickup. Or simply send someone else. The reason these types get under my skin is that you can tell they are not normally very accomplished liars and they want to over-explain everything. Save it. Really. Someone else is probably going to confront you, I’m not. You are the customer and I take your word as gold, ma’am. You’re pretty jerky, though, really. But not the worst.

Nope. The jerkiest one of all that I have seen is the lady who just marched on by me and my box of masks and said in the most condescending of tones, “Oh, I don’t need one. I’m healthy.” You, madam, are a twit. But as I said, this ain’t my first rodeo in retail and I know better than to try to engage with you. You are the highly valued and much-vaunted customer who has the mistaken belief that you are always right. Sorry, that old saw just isn’t true but I know you think so because I won’t fuss or fight with you. Besides, I can’t have a battle of wits with your type. I never fight an unarmed person.

Just so you know, as I said in the beginning, I believe in the masks. First of all, as I said, I think they can help prevent spreading sickness if used properly along with the social distancing. The other point is that, as someone who claims to be a Christian, it is incumbent upon me to be a law-abiding citizen and a good example of how people are supposed to behave and act. I’m supposed to live as peaceably as I can with everyone. As someone who claims to be a moderately conservative American that believes the Constitution is the Law of the Land, it becomes my duty to be as good of an example as I can. I have, in fact, read the Constitution and its various amendments and the “Right to Walk Around Being A Health Hazard To My Countrymen” just wasn’t in there. Sorry.

But what about the First Amendment? It’s religious persecution and it’s trying to prevent people from the right to assemble! Aside from the fact that you have the whole of the Internet to create a place to meet and assemble, you are not being persecuted. Here is a link to a free copy of a book called, “Foxe’s Book of Martyrs.” Try being crucified upside down or being wrapped in a wax shirt and set on fire, then tell me how persecuted you are. “Boy, that’s harsh, Herb.” Yeah. I know. It’s just perspective. But really, try to be a Uighur Muslim in Communist China or an openly gay person in Iran or Yemen.

At our church, we care about people and use masks and social distancing and online services, some weeks when the spikes have been bad, online services exclusively. We care about the elderly and immune-compromised people, not only in our church but in the community at large.

This brings me to the last thing. My daughter is immune-compromised. My wife is, too. I’ve been told that, until I am completely better from the accident, I am too. So, please, don’t make me sick or give me germs to take home to my family. I’ll try to do the same for you, too.