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The A – Z Challenge; N: Ole Svenson and Lars Andersson

The A – Z Challenge; N: Ole Svenson and Lars Andersson

(Instead of doing a differently named subject based on the letter for the day, I’m using the letters of the alphabet as hierarchical headings only.)

Herb’s Blog, Herbdate 23811 – 1250

My Fellow Americans and Followers From Around the World, including any from the Scandinavian Countries, especially Sweden,

Here’s the haps:

First, I’m sure you all have read in the news about Sweden’s Navy adding QR codes beside their ships’ names. It’s so when they come into port they can Scandinavian.

I originally wrote the story of Lars Andersson back in 2020 as part of another post but I liked it so much when I re-read it that it’s getting its own post with a special rewrite now.  At that time I learned that a vegetable we know in the U.S. as a rutabaga is known as a Swede in the U.K. and other commonwealth countries, like Australia — places where they speak English and don’t talk good American like me.  No, I don’t know why they would call this homely root vegetable by such a name. The only thing I can figure is that the British were really testy about the Vikings coming over and marauding their land back in the eighth through eleventh centuries and so they decided to retaliate, “Hey! You’re an ugly vegetable, we’ll just call you a Swede.  What do you mean, rutabaga‽”

Neither that nor this song has anything to do with my story, really, but I wanted to call to mind a great, but perhaps lesser-known hero, in the vein of Pecos Bill or Paul Bunyan.  I would hate for you to forget Ole Svenson.

Lars Andersson

Poor Lars Andersson was sad and miserable a lot of the time. Much of his problem was the pain in his feet. His American shoe size was 13 1/2 EEE. He had big, wide feet but he was only 4 feet tall. As you can probably suppose Lars was often picked on because he looked so different.  He rued the day he once let someone have a party at his house. Not only did some vulgar person steal his secret stash of expensive cognac but they were guzzling it down out of any container they could find. Even old fruit jars! While they were roughhousing around, someone knocked over a candle into a puddle of spilled alcohol and started the house on fire. His house burned down to the ground. That was the day his car was stolen.

Even though life had dealt him some depressing blows, Lars was able to keep his head up. He had a few friends and someone got him a job stomping grapes in the vineyard. This was a good job but it stained his feet a kind of bluish-purplish color. Lars didn’t care because now he could afford to get shoes that fit.

After a while, Lars’ hard work paid off and he got promoted to work in the warehouse. He proudly went to the shoe store and ordered some steel-toed work boots in split leather because he’d always liked the look and feel of it. After a few days of wearing them, though, the color from his feet began to leach into the shoes, turning them blue. He was feeling so sad that he almost wanted to cry. He was mad. Angry. Upset. Agitated. Just as he was thinking about all of his bum luck the boss came around the corner and accidentally stepped on Lars’ foot, scuffing and dirtying his new but already discolored work boot. Lars couldn’t handle the stress any longer and belted him a good one in the jaw and he and the boss started fighting. He knocked him down and stepped on his face. When the news got out his name would be slandered all over the place.

But, after it was all over and the boss learned about Lars’ sad situation, all was forgiven. Howbeit, the boss learned a valuable lesson from all of this. You can do anything that you want to do, but don’t you step on a blue Swede’s blue suede shoes.


Don’t that beet all?

I wasn’t sure if I needed to post the song as performed by Elvis that inspired the punch line, but then I thought about younger readers and readers in other places who might not get the punch line, right away.

Comments

8 responses to “The A – Z Challenge; N: Ole Svenson and Lars Andersson”

  1. J P Avatar

    N is for Never, as in how bad puns never grow stale.

    1. Herb Avatar

      Thanks! I was hoping you would appreciate it.

  2. Tony Laplume Avatar

    I was rereading some early Pearls Before Swine and found what’s probably the earliest pun strips. Different format. Same punchline.

    1. Herb Avatar

      I love ’em!

  3. Geoff Stamper Avatar

    Funny! Nothin’ But a Hound Dog and Blue Suede Shoes were two of the songs I sang (badly) as a kid. Couldn’t get them out of my head!

    1. Herb Avatar

      My mom loved Elvis and we had quite a few of his records so it came kind of natural.

  4. Mr. Ohh's Sideways View Avatar

    Hey stay off of the Blue Sweede’s shoes. Love that!! 🤣😎🙃

    1. Herb Avatar

      Thank you!

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