The Haps With Herb

There are more than 600 million blogs on the internet. Thanks for stopping by!

Stab Your Salad 23 Times

Stab Your Salad 23 Times

Only by

Herb

•

Herb’s Blog, Herbdate 23048 – 1082

Here’s the haps:

Today is the fifteenth of March. Day number 74 of this year which is exactly 20% over. I had this thought about the middle of this month, it was one of my ideas of March.

Today the weather is very pleasant and will be in the sixties. Tomorrow it will be in the thirties with snow flurries and I shall have to beware the ice of March.

Don’t be angry, but today is the fifteenth. Beware the ires of March!

Please don’t say, “I told you so.” Beware the chides of March.

When Mrs. Simpson glares at you you’d better beware the eyes of Marge.

The official restaurant of the fifteenth of July is Little Caesars.

But I think you should celebrate the fifteenth of March by eating a donut. In fact, eat two, brute.

Was Julius Caesar the first Holey Roman Emperor?

My time-traveling friend, Sabot, and I tried to save the emperor. We saw the old fortune teller reading the leaves of her salad. “Grab her!” I said, thinking our hope might lie in the prophecy not being uttered, but he froze. He couldn’t do it, even after I yelled, “Chicken! Seize her salad!”

•

,

Comments

24 responses to “Stab Your Salad 23 Times”

  1. Mr. Ohh's Sideways View Avatar
    Mr. Ohh’s Sideways View

    You are a sick man my friend. I like that in a person. When soldiersget upset after a hike the sargent always has to beware the Ire Of March.

    Reply
    1. Herb Avatar
      Herb

      Ohh! Good one!

      Reply
      1. Mr. Ohh's Sideways View Avatar
        Mr. Ohh’s Sideways View

        🙃

        Reply
  2. Jacqui Murray Avatar
    Jacqui Murray

    This post was the gift that kept on giving.

    Reply
    1. Herb Avatar
      Herb

      😉😂

      Reply
  3. John Avatar
    John

    I like the idea of stabbing the salad … but in my case, I chew every mouthful of food that I eat 28 times.

    Reply
    1. Herb Avatar
      Herb

      It’s better for your digestion if you can do it.

      Reply
  4. haoyando Avatar
    haoyando

    20% is already gone? Unbelievable. Time is flying. Somehow I tried to comment on your pi post yesterday, but somehow was told that I couldn’t do it by WP. How strange. I hope this post is ok to receive my comment.

    Reply
    1. Herb Avatar
      Herb

      I’m really sorry that happened. It has happened to others but it’s pretty random and can’t nail down what causes it. I always appreciate you stopping by and commenting.

      Reply
  5. AJMcGregor Avatar
    AJMcGregor

    Very clever, Herb! Great post. I wish I could come up with my own pun on the Ides of March, but I simply can’t. I’m pretty sure that Peter could, however. 😊

    Reply
    1. Herb Avatar
      Herb

      Most likely.

      Reply
  6. Phil Strawn Avatar
    Phil Strawn

    I will remember to stab my salad. Going to be 80 today here in Granbury, then storms this afternoon and freezing weather on Friday night, and we planted many plants last week, so now I have to cover everything with plastic and hope they make it through. Texas, what can you say.

    Reply
    1. Herb Avatar
      Herb

      lol. Sounds like Colorado. It was 65 yesterday and there is snow on the ground today.

      Reply
  7. M Avatar
    M

    Nice one 🤣

    Reply
    1. Herb Avatar
      Herb

      Thanks!

      Reply
  8. dumbestblogger Avatar
    dumbestblogger

    Wow. This was beautiful. Especially the part about donuts.

    Reply
    1. Herb Avatar
      Herb

      Happy to help😁

      Reply
  9. Geoff Stamper Avatar
    Geoff Stamper

    I don’t know why some days Nonce won’t accept my comments but I come back and test and sometimes that works.

    Reply
    1. Geoff Stamper Avatar
      Geoff Stamper

      Wow that worked. I have tried several times on the Pi post to say: When my wife was teaching Fourth Grade, she would call me at work during her recess and Math breaks to ask me Math questions. She eventually found teaching Second Grade and Special Ed much more comfortable.

      Reply
      1. Herb Avatar
        Herb

        THat’s how I would be with it. Math was never my strong suit or first love, to be sure.

        Reply
    2. Herb Avatar
      Herb

      I’m really sorry. I have been trying to make sure the cache on the blog is cleared out and that may be helping some. I feel bad when that happens to people and it’s so random, too.

      Reply
  10. J P Avatar
    J P

    These were fabulously horrible. But the meme with the knife in the bottle is all wrong. Everyone knows they didn’t stab Caesar dressing. They waited until he was going to the senate.

    This is also a bad time of year to walk barefoot in the woods because of insects. Beware the mites of arch.

    Reply
    1. Herb Avatar
      Herb

      😂🤣I really did laugh out loud and did a double face palm.🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ My wife came by and asked what was going on. I told her and she just rolled her eyes, shook her head and walked away. Genius!! 💡💡

      Reply
      1. J P Avatar
        J P

        Haha, thank you kind sir (bowing deeply)

        Reply

I like comments and try to respond to them all if I can:

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Herb Avatar
“I’ve been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn, and a king / I’ve been up and down and over and out and I know one thing / Each time I find myself flat on my face / I pick myself up and get back in the race” Frank Sinatra – That’s Life
This is the face Grandpa makes when Alex hugs him
Christmas 2023

Discover more from The Haps With Herb

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading

Verified by ExactMetrics