Breaking News – Something Sweet‽ Is Augustus Gloop Really A Nincompoop‽

Herb’s Blog, Herbdate 22868 – 997

Here’s the haps:

Well, I somehow missed a major, significant news story in June. Two employees at an M & M Mars factory fell into a vat of chocolate. Now I want to know, how does something like this happen? I mean, I know what happened with the greedy Augustus Gloop (I only know the book and the 1971, Gene Wilder, version) who kind of got what he deserved:

And of course, the only other person I ever heard of this happening to was Tommy Smothers:

But I expect that neither Augustus nor Tommy were properly trained. Now, I know nothing about these people in this story except that they were employees and there were two of them. I expect you have to have some modicum of training to run these machines. How do you have two people wind up waist-deep in chocolate? One person might have a freak accident, sure, but two? First responders had to cut a hole in the side of the vat to get them out. Well, we know two things are going to happen for sure. Lawyers are going to be involved and OSHA is working on a new safety handbook, You and Chocolate – Safety First.