Herb’s Blog, Herbdate 22460 – 852:
Here’s the haps:
I was over at the incorrectly named Dumbest Blog Ever and read with increasing sadness how the DumbestBlogger was afraid he wouldn’t make it as a country musician because the only sponsor he could find was the Celery Growers Union and he didn’t know any songs about celery. Since he has been a good and faithful friend to this blog for so long I thought I would help him out. The following song is fully copyright protected. Except I hereby bequeath the rights to The Dumbest Blogger. If he wants it. Dumbest may be able to write the music his own self, ah don’t know.
Celery Country
Lyrics by Herb Thiel – rights reserved
Mah momma left with mah truck
The day mah wife Sue got out of the jug
I knew I was down on mah luck
When she backed over mah poor dog
“Momma,” I cried, “Please don’t leave me
I know not where I should go
Mah horse broke a leg and can’t hold me
And I just cain’t run any mo’”
It was then that I remembered
The days of my youth so carefree
Carryin’ on through the leafy green fields
Of dearly beloved celery
Chorus:
Oh celery, beautiful celery
So lovely and leafy and green
It can cure all your heartaches
Even if your Momma been mean
I went down to the little white church house
I knelt at the altar to pray
From out of his office my pastor came out
And this is what he had to say
Chorus
Mah son, Jesus will help you
But he gave us the answer you see
We live in an Edenic area too
Just give them all celery
Chorus
Well, I went and got me some celery
Fetched it out to mah whole family, too
It made the dog and the horse feel better-ly
And even mah Momma and Sue
The goodness of celery done helped us
I even painted mah truck green
Thank God that He created cel’ry for us
It’s almost as good as beans
Final Chorus
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