I found this floating around a couple of places and do not know who the author is. I wish I had written it, but I didn’t. If it belongs to you, I will give you either credit or take it down, whichever you request. I found it on a humor page initially, but I thought it was a little too much for http://herbshumor.blogdrive.com/
Profiling
To insure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret Service agents who are members of the President’s security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winning former governors.
Let’s pause a moment and take the following test.
In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:
a. Olga Korbut
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwartzenegger
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
During the 1980’s a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered in his wheelchair and thrown overboard by:
a. The Smurfs
b. Davy Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a U.S. Navy diver was murdered by:
a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid who had a few sticks of dynamite left over from the train job
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
a. Mr. Rogers
b. AFOTEC action officers headed to a conference
c. The World Wrestling Federation to promote its next villain: “Mustapha the Merciless”
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed and thousands of people were murdered by:
a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr. Bean
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonny and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Male Muslim extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
Nope, no patterns anywhere to justify profiling!
