Pulled From The Archives – Not Exactly A Trifecta

Herb’s Blog, Herbdate 23447 – 1205

Here’s the haps:

I’m glad I am a packrat. Especially a cyber packrat because then I can go back through e-mails I have saved on my external hard drive from as far back as 25 years ago and share jokes with you that are so old they seem new again. At least that’s my hope. There are some that I have seen more than once since that time, like this one:

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A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, “Say, Father, what causes arthritis?”

“Mister, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man.”

“Wow,” the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. “I’m very sorry, I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?”

“I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.”

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While hiking in the woods, Nate and Sam found this huge rock which had an old iron lever attached to it. Etched into the rock was the following inscription:

“If this lever is pulled, the world will come to an end!”

Nate wanted to pull the lever and see what would happen, but Sam, being a paranoid pessimist, greatly feared this! He said to Nate that if he tried to pull the lever, he’d shoot him!

In a daring attempt, Nate lunged for the lever, and sure enough, Sam shot him!

What is the moral of this story? Better Nate than lever!

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And don’t forget what Noah said, “Now I herd everything!”