You Can Buy Anything Online

Well, I learned something the other day which I shared with some of you via e-mail already but thought the rest of you might be interested to know. You can buy Uranium online at Amazon. It is U-238 which is not fissionable and therefore legal to buy. No special license or anything is required. The greatest thing about this story is the questions and comments on Amazon. Some were actually interesting, like a 7th-grade class ordering it for a science fair experiment. But there were others like, ” I left this product next to my pet lizard, unfortunately now he’s 350ft tall now and is currently destroying Tokyo, Japan.” or “Btw, Amazon provided a star rating for “flavor” for this product. I didn’t evaluate that.” A couple of my personal favorites were, “Mixed this in with rose fertilizer and have blooms nearly one foot in diameter! Drawback is I can’t cut them as they growl at me whenever I get near them with the scissors…and they’ve eaten several small birds and a stray kitten…” and ” Oh, so on re-reading the book, it’s nitrogen, phosphorus, and POTASSIUM in garden fertiliser. Not Uranium. My bad, great product, and I’m now off to take the tomato plant for its walk.” “Bought this for household spiders hoping they’d bite me so I could get super hero powers… Alas, the talking spider says he will not bite me, he does however write helpful messages in his web for my benefit.”

A lot of Flux Capacitor jokes as well and, of course, “Made me green whenever I get mad. No warning on the label. Didn’t even indicate the calories per serving.” Apparently, when you rate it on Amazon it has a food category. This would work well, actually, with Carter’s suggestion that I add it to my coffee.